June Project 12: post 2

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My husband and I are trudging through this Project 12.  In case you missed the last post, we are spending 12 minutes talking to each with no distractions or interruptions.  This has proved to be WAY harder than we thought.  (But really good too!)

 

June 8th- we missed it.  I feel horrible that we cannot even find 12 minutes…but right after dinner, I had a workshop then met some friends after.

 

June 9th- we missed it.  On purpose this time.  I was so disappointed in my husband I didn’t want to spend 12 minutes with him.  My son came home with another reflection sheet, so out went every single book in his room.  After that devastating after school activity,  my daughter and I went to visit her middle school she is attending next year.    When we got home, he was so glued to his phone that he didn’t get up.  He didn’t come sit at the table and talk to us and hear about our day, and how she liked the middle school tour.  He zoned out and did not show up.  I deserve better than that.  My kids deserve better than that.  I told him all this and said we would make up our time later.

 

June 10th- We made up for the time missed today and talked through all of the above.  We had a really good talk about being more engaged in each other and in our children.   I am guilty of zoning out with technology as well.  But I have been WAY more mindful of this in the past year.  I really make a point to leave my ringer off, and leave my phone in my purse when my kids and I are together. This is a huge issue in our society with all the technology.  I went to lunch the other day and there was a family of five, and they were all on their phones except the youngest kid who was just looking around.  It was devastating.

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June 11th- We spent our 12 minutes talking and praying for a big upcoming meeting.  We had a big talk with our daughter about sex.  She voluntarily signed a contract at school saying she would wait until marriage to have sex.  She brought it home and we were to also sign it as witnesses.  We sat down and had that really uncomfortable conversation together.  We of course talked about teenage pregnancy and STDs, but also talked about the feelings of being used, guilt, and shame that can be related.   We shared that sex is wonderful and beautiful–but best when 2 adults really love each other.   I really want to keep an open dialogue–and although it was uncomfortable, but I am so glad we did it.  We got her this knotted ring as a reminder.  <3

 

June 12th- We charged through our 12 minutes talking about our day…we checked the clock a lot because we were starting the new season of Orange is the New Black immediately after.  (it’s awesome by the way.)

 

June 13th- Easy 12 minutes on a Saturday morning.  Mostly boring talk about what we needed from the store, and what we were doing later that day.

 

June 14th- Our 12 minutes today was spent talking about my kids going to sleep away camp.  Both of my babies are going to be gone for a whole week.  After we talked about our fun plans, my husband and I got a little sad.  Our kids are pretty awesome and I am going to miss them like crazy!

 

This is definitely a good thing for us.  Most days are spent just talking about daily stuff, but the time we spend focusing on having a better relationship/being better parents make this whole deal worth it.

I would love to hear from you.  Will you have that conversation with your kids?  Solo or team up with your partner?  How detailed will you get, and will you use your faith as a backdrop?

 

 

 

Working Towards Remission

A few posts ago I mentioned that I was out of remission with my UC.  I am hoping to skip a round of steroids and instead clean up my diet and do things that make me happy to relieve the stress part.   I made up a little 6 week game plan, and I am through week 3 with a little bit of progress, so I am keeping it up.  If I still have flare up symptoms after 6 weeks, I’ll have to bite the bullet and go to the doctor.

As far as diet goes, that means no grains, no sugar, and limited dairy.  Tons of clean,  fresh veggies, healthy fat, and protein.  I also limit fruits, nuts, and spicy foods during this time, which really stinks.  Because watermelon, cashews, and Texas Pete help the world spin.

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Breakfast has been bulletproof coffee, eggs with 1/2 small avocado, or a hamburger patty.  (I still make my husband grill me a bunch every week after my meat eating month.)

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Lunches are usually leftovers or  a salad with tons of protein…this one is a build your own from Char Bar 7.  Romaine lettuce with grilled salmon, eggs, sunflower seeds, feta, avocado, and bacon.

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This was even better leftover…grilled chicken with capers, sun dried tomatoes, and artichokes.  Broccoli on the side and feta on top.

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Dinners have been the same…meat and veggies with some good fat.  I made turkey meatballs, and a caprese salad with fresh basil from my garden!

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Not food related…taking care of myself in other ways.  Doing things that make me happy.  I took Brody and a friend to Sky Zone to jump on the indoor trampolines.

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My daughter and I getting Starbucks.  (this latte was my dairy for the day!)

I have said no when I needed to, and asked for help when I needed it.  I have been reading some amazing books, redid my post-it prayer wall, and hired a new cleaning crew.  (My lady retired, so it was a rough month around here until I found someone.)  I have been spending time with my husband, my kids, and my dog.  I have been going to bed a little earlier, doing yoga, watching Lifetime movies, and simply giving myself a break.  <3

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June Project 12

This month I am spending 12 minutes alone with my husband.  You would think that after being married almost 14 years we would spend way more 12 minutes alone.  Nope.  Jobs, kids, dogs, technology, chores, books, and other people get in the way.

There are some  rules to this whole 12 minute thing.  We can’t be interrupted by kids, and we have to give each other our undivided attention.  No phones, no eating, no doing dishes, no trying to play the piano during the 12 minutes.  A friend of mine gave me this suggestion, and I thought it was a great idea to reconnect to my husband.  I thought it would be easy.  It’s not.

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June 1st 6:32-6:58pm~  I wanted our first 12 minutes to be out on our deck relaxing with a drink.  Instead, it poured down rain, so we sat on our bed after dinner and talked.  This was the worst 12+ minutes of the week because the only thing we came up with to talk about was something that had been bothering us.  The thought crossed my mind about what a dumb idea this is, especially if we can’t even get through the first day without an uncomfortable talk.  This is supposed to make us close and be all googly eyed again.  Instead I was watching the clock ready to go unload the dishwasher.  We went over our 12 mintues, but ended up clearing the air.  Clean air is good air.

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June 2nd 4:35- 4:50pm~ This 12 minutes was mostly spent talking about the weather and my son’s behavior.  I taught at Olde Mecklenburg Brewery’s Yoga on Tap last Tuesday, and it had poured down rain all day long.  This was a huge event…the Charlotte Independence soccer team came and did yoga with us.  Luckily, the rain held out for the hour we did yoga, but during our 12 minutes it was really weighing on my mind.  My son (who is already grounded from screen time for something else) changed the words to the song they sang at school for the volunteers.  The children were supposed to sing, “Volunteers, we thank you…”.  He decided it would be funny to sing, “Volunteers, we hate you…”.  He got his radio taken out of his room so no more books on CD, or dancing to music in the morning.  He basically cannot do anything fun.  If I even catch him trying to catch a smile, I nip it in the bud.  (half kidding.) We went to the pool Saturday and didn’t let him swim.  (I know… my heart is broken, but we have to stick with our guns.  Remember when we took Halloween away?)

June 3rd 8:30-8:50pm~  Little longer again today.  I had a really long, really busy day, and needed my family and some chill time after work.  My daughter and I met my mom and sister for manicures and sushi.  When I got home we had our time.   We mostly talked about my sister’s new house…she is moving here!  She currently lives in Dubai, so I don’t see her and my two nephews near as much as I want.   We also talked about how sweet Toby is. <3

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June 4th whoops.  we missed it.  Kadyn had her big moving up ceremony at school, and Daniel had a softball game.

June 5th whoops.  again…we missed it. I worked all afternoon, and Daniel had a softball game. (these softball games…by the time he gets home, I am fast asleep)

June 6th  6:00-6:30ish~  We made up for the missed days and talked on the couch after dinner.  My son came out in the middle and we scooted him off to his room and told him  we were having our time.  We talked about how big our tomato plants are getting, how Daniel played in his softball game, and how I am subbing a ton of classes this month before our family beach trip.

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June 7th  3:15-3:40~ I wanted to squeeze in our time before I taught my Sunday evening class at Y2 Yoga.  We had some friends in town from Florida, so we had lunch with them and another couple after church.  During our time together, my husband and I talked about how much we miss them, and our church family and how lucky we are to have them.  These friends also told me about the Vermonster from Ben and Jerry’s.  I have not been able to think about anything else since then.  I wish I added it to my #37in37 list. I need 7 friends to commit to tackle this little bit of deliciousness with me this summer.

Give the whole 12 minute thing a whirl.    It doesn’t have to be with your partner…maybe a sibling, friend, or parent.  Give it a try for a week and let me know how it goes.

Happy Monday!  Have an awesome week.  XO

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