Dead Man Walking

I walk by a picture very similar to the one above multiple times a day.  I can usually pass Panera without licking the window, but since the rain won’t stop and the sun won’t come up, all I want to do is lay around and eat grilled cheese sandwiches.  And marshmallows.  I saw these dipped ones at the mall yesterday.  I woke up eating my pillow.

marshmallow

My yoga practice is usually strong and invigorating.  I like to push myself, try arm balances, sweat it all out.   Lately, it has been lethargic and unenergized.  I have left class early 3 times in the past week.   Or, I’ll just lay down on my mat in the middle of class.  I do multiple backbends daily and drank a semi-lethal dose of coffee to try to stay on my game.  Seriously- I was telling a friend that I drink 6 cups in the morning, and usually a venti in the afternoon.  She opened her mouth so wide in shock.  It’s not like a killed anybody.  But if the sun doesn’t come out soon, I just may.

I took my friend Shanna‘s yoga class this weekend, and she talked to us about dead man walking…not that we are walking to the electric chair, but just that we go through life doing.what.we.always.do.  Wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed.  The next day, we do it again.  In life, and on our mats.  It reminded me of something I read a while ago–That we are human beings.  Not human doings.  I took it a step further when I shared this idea with my yoga class later…I asked them to imagine if this was their last yoga class…you wouldn’t just go through the motions.  You would feel each movement, feel each inhale.  They were so motivated and several spoke to me afterwards about how that pushed them.  It’s good to know that I can motivate others when I can’t motivate myself!

I decided to take my own advice.  I reminded myself of this in my own practice this morning.  What if this was my last practice?  Instead of enjoying every breath, I kept thinking,  if I was dead man walking, I’d kinda like to eat that grilled cheese.  and those marshmallows.  Duh.

 

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