My husband and I read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman many years ago. We had been married a year or two, and I heard so much rigamaroll about the book I decided we would read it together. So, we did like most couples do…I read the book. Heart and soul. All in. He forgot about it, then pretended he had read it, and eventually hid his copy under the couch cushions. Ultimately, I had to read the quiz out loud to him in the car on the way to the beach. He was stuck with me for 6 hours. He knew it was coming.
Below is a handy-dandy chart so you know what the 5 love languages are…
As humans we give and receive love differently. Keeping the love alive in relationships takes awareness and the desire to do something about it. Back then my love language was Acts of Service. (My translation: Unload the dishwasher if you want some of this.) His love language was Quality Time. (His translation: Take the kid–at that time there was only one– to your mom’s so I can get some of that.) Seriously though, just the act of me making time for him helped him to feel loved . And he knew that I felt appreciated when he helped me out with my seemingly never ending to-do list.
I wondered if things had changed in the past 10 years since we first took the quiz, so much to his delight, I made us take the quiz again. (we had another long car trip)
I was the same. I knew I would be. (Sweeping the hardwoods is considered foreplay around this house.) I scored highest in Acts of Service, with Words of Affirmation second. I feel loved when my husband vacuums and tells me I’m amazing. My husband’s love language now is Physical touch with Words of Affirmation second. He feels loved when I hug and kiss him and tell him he is hot. ( I will possibly write a separate blog about the argument I tried to start about how he doesn’t want to spend quality time with me anymore…)
This coffee mug is a perfect example of how much I felt cared for. I bought this awesome Namaste mug a while back and dropped it on the kitchen floor before I even had a chance to drink coffee from it. I was devastated. (Yes. Devastated. I can be a little dramatic.) The next morning I woke up to find that my husband super glued it back together. It probably took him all of 5 minutes to glue it together while he was watching football. But that act of service made me feel cherished and highly valued.
Kids have a love language too…I am not saying you have to give birth here…Find out the love language of your students, nieces, nephews, mentees, little buddies.
I read aloud the questions from the quiz for my kids on this same trip. My daughter was Words of Affirmation. She feels loved when we tell her we are proud of her, and that she is special. My son’s love language was receiving gifts. He feels loved when I buy him the granola bars that he likes at the store, or buy him a special pencil for his cartoon drawings.
I enjoy knowing how each member of my family feels wanted and needed..we are all so different. Knowing how to show each member of my little sweet family how much I love and appreciate them in their language is so crucial. I want my kids to grow up and be loving, caring, sympathetic adults. I want them to see their mom and dad treating each other with love and admiration.
What is your love language? You need to know so you can communicate to others so they can love you they way you deserve! Take this QUIZ and find out what it is. (I am going to go ahead and apologize to all your significant others. And your children.)
My kids were sad to find out that there is no quiz to take for pets. So, we improvised. We all figured Toby’s love languages are Physical Touch (belly scratches), Words of Affirmation (“Good Boy!”), and Gifts (treats). He doesn’t seem to feel very loved when we perform Acts of Service (baths, nails clippings, scooping up his poop, teeth brushing.)