Eggplant Awesomeness

This is one of my family’s favorite things that I make.  Actually, I am a huge liar.   Only me and my husband like it.  (I would also like to  come clean about another lie I’ve been telling for years.  I revealed this secret to  my husband a few months ago, and told a few friends in Mexico last month.  Too much Grey Goose leads to loose lips.  I am 5’6 and 3/4 inches tall.  I say that I am 5’8″ though.  I don’t know why I don’t just round up to 5’7″.  I have just said 5’8″ for years, and it makes my BMI in the healthy zone, so I lie. )

I apologize in advance for the way I do recipes.  ( Proof #1) I take lots of really low quality pictures. (Proof #2) Measuring stuff takes up way too much time. (Proof #3)  Especially when you are 5’8″ and have attention disorder issues.  (No proof- I am a liar and should be medicated)

Stuff to get:  eggplant, pasta sauce (or make your own if you are short and take Ritalin), cheese, meat, spinach.


Slice Eggplant.  (you can also use zucchini!)


Put eggplant in a baggie with salt so your eggplant awesomeness doesn’t get watery.  That is un-awesomeness.


In between loads of laundry, or in my case during the commercial of Teen Mom 3, put the eggplant on paper towels to soak up any excess water.  Many trees may have been harmed in this process.  But no worries!   Toby was able to reduce/reuse/recycle.  He pulled all of the salty-eggplanty paper towels out of the garbage while I was vacuumming (aka looking at instagram) He really enjoyed shredding  and scattering them all over the house.  No worries tree lovers.


When you are done yelling at your dog and dvr-ing all the Dr. Phils for the week, organize the eggplant in a casserole dish.  (You should have already browned some meat and made sauce by the way.  whoops.  Get off the phone mom.)


Put sauce and cheese on top of first layer.


This is why I hate recipes.  Add spinach.  Duh.


Go read recipes online and the way other bloggers do recipes and remember you are 5’8″ so who cares how other people do it.  Layer more eggplant.


More saucey sauce.  Meat rules.


Actually cheese rules, so add more.  Bake for 30 mins at 350.

Ways to make this a success:

1.  Act like this took you forever to make.

2.  Remind your husband/boyfriend/mom that you slaved in the kitchen for hours.

3.  Ask at least 7 times if they love this dish.

4. Ask out loud at dinner, “Who needs pasta anyway?”

5.  Refuse to do the dishes, since you cooked.  Run away and crush candy, or recuse pets. 



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