How to be the best wife ever

It doesn’t take much to have your man eating out of the palm of your hand.  I am all for spicing up your relationship. Like with rosemary, some extra salt, and that really hard to find herb, shutyourmouth.  It is really rare, ladies.   Men are pretty simple creatures.  (At least mine is…)

He really wants me to cook dinner and shut up a little.  (and play the piano more) Really.  That’s it.   Cook.  And then, shut up just a little?  Yes.  This is my marriage advice.  It’s simple.  Cook and shut up a little.  Don’t tell him about your whole entire day.  He doesn’t care that Tina had on the new Lululemon pants or that Sara got eyelash extensions.  He doesn’t care that your kids had to go the “peace table” at school.  (this is time-out in the Montessori world)  He doesn’t care that you had to drive back to Harris Teeter because you forgot the bananas.  He doesn’t care about the party you two might be going to for the Fourth of July, and should you get a sitter?    (Okay.  I feel like I am being mean.  He cares.  Just not as much as you.  So, shut up a little.)

I wanted him to be super excited to come home today, so, I sent him this picture of the pork butt I seasoned and put in the crock pot.


He texted back something back about butts and pork that I cannot repeat.  (I actually can repeat it and wanted to, but he wouldn’t allow me to post the text.)

Wife of the Year.  Best wife ever.  That is what I was going for.  Instead of texting back for him to stop being disgusting and reminding him that is was Tuesday,  (who allows any “butt porking” on a Tuesday?) I just ignored him.   Was I playing hard to get?  No.  I was trying to just shut up a little.  He must have gotten the hint (or checked a calendar) since he replied a few hours later all business like about getting our taxes done.

You also need to make some mashed photatoes.  It’s really cauliflower, but he’ll pretend like it tastes the same.  Mix in a lot of cheese and possibly some bacon in there too.


Make some green beans, but don’t put them on his plate.  Let his plate be just meat and photatoes.  He can get the green beans if he wants them.


Ya’ll, I am so bad at taking selfies.  Wear this when you serve him.  But Shhhh.  No talking.  Remember…shut up just a little.


Then go lay on the couch and read this…It is amazing and has some beautiful points.  No man wants his woman worrying.  They would rather you just cook and shut up a little.


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