Summer is Over

Summer is officially over

I became addicted to the side braid at the beach.

Summer is over.  And we have had a wonderful summer.  We are almost through our 100 item bucket list.  The cold and the rain almost makes it okay that we go back tomorrow.   The Sunday before the start of a new school year has always been a cause of high anxiety for me.  Even after teaching 13 years, I still feel nervous!  This year, I going to work only part-time, and I have mixed emotions.  Still the nerves and butterflies of the first days heading back, but also a little bit of glee.  The glee is mixed with some fear, but the glee is there.  The giddy feeling that I only have to work half of a day inside cement walls with fluorescent lighting,  Only four, instead of eight hours of negative energy, and complaining.*

bubbles

Blowing bubbles. Bucket List item number 87.

I’m excited to take this next step in my life.  I can’t wait to leave school, and go teach or practice yoga.  I’m excited to share yoga at my children’s school, and eat lunch with them.  I’m excited to have time to read, cook healthy dinners, and walk my puppy.  (I am hoping less stress means more healing with my UC.  This has been a rough summer.  I just play it off really well.  I’m back up to the highest dosage of 6 pills a day and my symptoms are getting worse.  I am buying time, hoping I get better everyday.  I don’t want to be on steroids, I don’t want to have yet another colonoscopy, and I don’t want my colon removed.  I’m just scared.)

But back to that glee.  Right now the glee is taking over the underlying fear.  My fear,  of course is money.  I was at the bank the other day and the lady in front of me was trying to do some type of transaction.  When the teller wasn’t sure if they could do it, she started crying.  Of course, I start crying too.  Seriously.  Tears were streaming down my face.  My 10-year-old daughter was with me and asks me why I am crying.  Because I have been there.  In the exact same bank, exact same feeling.  I have been at the bank crying when a check didn’t go through in time.  I know that terrifying feeling that you might not make your mortgage.  I have cried when bills had to be paid late of at all, and I wondered if we might not make it to the next payday.  Money is a huge cause of stress for all of us.  And no amount of downward dogs or pranayama can change that.

I was hoping to add a few more classes to my teaching schedule.  That didn’t work out too well.  So I just need to be proactive.  There are other gym/studios in Charlotte, I can teach private lessons, or even do some home school physical education.  I was at the Fresh Market yesterday, and I wouldn’t mind working there.  Seriously.  It was so peaceful in there.  And maybe I could get free seafood salad.

Good Luck to all the teachers this school year!  You all have a special place in heaven.

Have you ever seen a happier 6-year-old?
*Disclaimer:  Not everyone I work with has negative energy and complains.  Most of my coworkers are wonderful and some of my best friends.  Teachers are just over worked and underpaid.  It is hard not to complain! 

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