This little cat boy threw us for a whirlwind a couple months ago. His behavior was getting out of hand, and it was tearing us up! We tried everything: punishing, rewarding, sticker charts, grounding him to his room, taking away screen time, and even threatening to spank him. (luckily we didn’t have to follow through on that one, because I couldn’t have done it.)
My husband and I even had to take away Halloween. Thank you so much for your comments on that blog post supporting our decision to continue our consistency. We thought that would be the end of it, but things were still not going well. Meaning he was still not behaving up to our standards. And yes…our standards are pretty high. We expect our children to rise up!
I want to share with you guys what ended up working for us. We created a calendar for November and wrote in special events, with each event having a point value. Every day, Brody would wear 3 thick rubber bracelets to school. Every time he got a warning, he had to give a bracelet to his teacher. If they get three warnings at school, they get silent lunch. Before this, my poor kid had silent lunch every single day. When Brody got home he would write the number of points (how many bracelets) on the corresponding day. He could add up to see if he was getting closer to something exciting.
One thing we made very clear, was that coming home with zero bracelets was unacceptable. Even if Brody earned enough points for the special event, if he had a zero, it was a no-go. So, on the 17th, he came home with a zero. The next day was his birthday, and I was going to take him to Your Mom’s Donuts for a special birthday breakfast. Well, he had 16.5 points, so technically he should have been able to go. This was something we made very clear ahead of time. Zero points equal zero rewards. So, even though it was his birthday, we didn’t go. Kadyn and I were sad because we wanted to eat donuts too! My mom gave him tickets to the Marvel Comics show for his birthday…she was a little nervous when she found out we added it to the point system. This was a whole village affair, and she totally supported our decision. Luckily, her earned the points, and was able to go.
We ended up adding in a special event toward the end. He decided he wanted to go to Chess Club , and he earned it! So now every Thursday I fight traffic and rush to get him there. The point value on that was high for a reason. 🙂 I am only half kidding, because I would do whatever it takes to get that guy to behave. His behavior at home is not a problem, so he was mainly earning points at school. But you can see on the calendar that he earned a few points on weekends. He earned these if he helped out around the house without being asked, church behavior, and if he went above and beyond his normal chores.
I used to cringe when I saw his teacher’s number flash across the screen. I would refuse to look at texts from her until I took 5 deep breaths. Now I get texts like this and get a laugh instead. (His teacher is absolutely amazing, and writes this blog.) This kid.
He is so ridiculously cute, hilarious, and brilliant. I love him so far past the moon it isn’t even funny.
Quick Mommy note here… His lips were so chapped, and everything we tried burned his lips so bad he would start crying from the pain. And he is one tough little dude. We tried Carmex, Chapstick, EOS, Softlips, Aquaphor, and even straight up Vaseline. I remember my friend Katie put coconut oil in an empty Bare Minerals container to use on her lips. Best. Idea. Ever. He loves it, it is natural, and it doesn’t sting his lips. I made myself one too, and I use it for my lips and even my cuticles.