Why I took away Halloween

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I love this little guy more than I can handle.  He is smart, funny, spunky, confident, courageous, and has me wrapped around his little finger.  It has pretty much been that way since he was born.  I fell pretty hard for him, and I still am crazy in love with him.   Like crazy lady in love.

He is starting to grow up and it is making me very sad.  I relish the moments when he still wants to sit on my lap, and I feel his little heart beating and smell his hair.  (Which I sometimes have to make a mental note to remind him that just rinsing isn’t considered showering.)  In the mornings, I love to wake him up, rub his back and kiss those sweet soft cheeks until he becomes fully awake and asks me to leave and to send Toby in.

I had to do a really hard parent job last week.  I took away Halloween.  My little guy has been getting into trouble pretty much every where he goes…school, church, cub scouts.  Nothing horrible or cruel.  Just mischievous boy stuff.  Times 17.   Remember the whole egg incident a month ago?   He has been calling out, running away at recess, flicking people, tying shoelaces together, marrying himself off on the playground to all the girls in class, telling jokes at inappropriate times, being a weirdo to the substitute teachers, and playing around when he needs to be working.  All that stuff.  All the time.  This is very frustrating because he is extremely smart.  Not just because he is my kid and I am biased.  He is like genius crazy smart.  And he knows better.

We have grounded him, taken away screen time, bribed him, yelled, pulled the whole I am soooo disappointed in you thing, and even offered crazy rewards.  (you know, I’ll buy you _______ if you can be good at school.)  All that stuff I said I would NEVER do when I became a parent.

The Monday before Halloween, we signed a contract (the whole family…you know we all get involved around here.)  If he didn’t get it together, I would take his costume back and he would not go trick or treating.  We all signed it, and I assumed he would get his act together.   Yes.  I ASSumed.  He did not get it together.  He must have thought we wouldn’t follow through.

I was very touched on at the number of comments that supported our decision when I posted this on Facebook.  I am also so happy that it helped reinforce decisions you were making yourself!  We certainly didn’t want to take away Halloween from our favorite little boy in the whole world.  But we made the deal and had to stick to it.  We mean what we say and say what we mean.

I remember when I was teaching school, the students that would cry if they go it trouble before Halloween because they said their mom would not let them trick or treat.  The next day those very same kids would come with their backpacks filled with candy.  Argggg.

I am not the world’s best mom, and I am not claiming to be.  I made a threat I am sort of sorry about, but I am happy I followed through.  Children thrive on consistency.

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Our Halloween looked a little different this year.  The kids were out of school, so we went to church and made cards for the elderly at Blessed Assurance Adult Day Care.  The kids passed out the cards and sang songs.  (I was trying to push service to others here.)

On the way home, we stopped at the store, and we returned his costume.  (I could tell by his face he was a little shocked I was actually following through with all this.  Not that we are not consistant…this was just a BIG deal.)  I let him help pick out candy for the trick or treaters.

Halloween is a party in our neighborhood.  My husband gives hay rides around the block, then there is a big costume parade before everyone start trick-or-treating.

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This little boy did a puzzle, while I worked on my laptop.  I hope and pray that he learned his lesson.   I know I did.

I do not want to make threats that I don’t want to carry out.  I missed Halloween too.  I was sad– I LOVE Halloween, walking around with my kids, and dressing up.  Plus my husband, then boyfriend told me he loved me on Halloween 14 years ago, so I like to be all googley eyed at him and ask him a whole bunch of questions about that night and have him reenact the whole thing.   He loves this so much, so he was sad to be off hay riding and parading without me.

Lesson learned.  Parents-stay strong, be consistent.  You are doing it out of so much love.  That crazy lady love.

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8 thoughts on “Why I took away Halloween”

    1. Thanks Amy! I am sure you have seen the situations I was talking about when I used to teach school…the next day coming in with King size Snickers!

  1. I know that was probably one of the hardest mom things you did, but now he knows this is serious business to you (and to him). Hopefully he will get it together. I have one of these types too, and I feel your pain. Best of luck with him. He’ll be a better man for all this.

    PS I recognized a few of those sweet faces in the church picture. Love my little Bills player and blueberry from Charlie and the Chocolate factory.

    1. Stephanie-
      Thanks for your sweet comments…so far so good. And yes, I love that little football player and violet too!

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